The first time I knew.

25 07 2009

     Ok, so my wife and I were not married at the time of this incident, but I knew then that I was in for an interesting relationship with the ole’ in-laws.

     Lori’s brother “Mitch”  stayed with us for a while. Lori was pregnant with our first son. I was working in a factory. Mitch was away from his parents, so he went a litte wild.

   The story goes a little something like this:

    Lori and I were in bed. Mitch got home late and brought a friend with him. He stayed up well into the night/morning hours partying. At one point I had to get up and tell them to keep it down so we could sleep. I got up early and went to work. Apparently Mitch didn’t make it to work.

    Mitch worked with his father. So when he didn’t show up apparently “Tim” got upset. That part I knew. What I didn’t know was why he was upset. 

    This is the good part. This is the “Remember: You just gotta laugh” part.

    When confronted by his father “Tim”, “Mitch” told him that it was not him, but I who threw a “wild party” that kept HIM up all night. Apparently when HE got up to tell us to quite down I dared him to put a whole can of Skoal (chewing tabacco) in his mouth. Apparently this made him VIOLENTLY ILL and it was because of that horrific experience that he was not able to make it into work.

    Now I’m all for helping people out in a jam. Had he approached me and told me what his plan was, then maybe we could’ve refined it a little, and pulled it off. But he acted like nothing of the sort happend. He didn’t know why his father would come up with such a story. He was lying straight to my face. It was at that moment that I knew, I wasn’t dealing with a normal, well adjusted person.

Well, I hope you had a good laugh at my expense.  I’m actually laughing myself at the absurdity of the situation. To his defense though, I did chew Skoal at that time, although I NEVER dared him to put a whole can in his mouth.

The next post I’ll introduce you to Lori’s sister Lucy!

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Background on the In-Laws.

6 07 2009

     So this really is my very first blog post EVER!  I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon and give this blog thing a try.

     I realize that there’s a good chance that not a single soul will actually read this, but I think it will help me to vent my frustrations and tell anyone who wants to listen EVERYTHING that I have dealt with through the years.

     I realize that there are always two sides to every story, but that’s another good thing about this blog. IT’ MINE! Actually, I don’t think that two sides stuff applies to my situation, which you’ll hear about soon.

     For the time being I’ve decided to use aliases for the real names of all involved. My “name” is going to be Jake. I have a wife named “Lori”. We have 2 boys named “Isaac” and “Brendan”. We have been married for 10 years now, and wouldn’t change a thing. Oh wait, yes I would. HER FAMILY! It is of course Lori’s family that has been my muse for this blog.

     I should probably clarify that none of her family has actually been diagnosed as psychopaths or sociopaths. It’s just a really really strong hunch that I have. Her family consist of her father “Tim”, mother “Terry”, brother “Mitch” and sister “Lucy”. Tim, Terry, Mitch, and Lucy are all liars. Some more so than others, but enough that they all deserve that title. Most of the time they act independently of the others, but sometimes the “four fakes” act together to really screw you over.

     Lying is just one of their vices. I’ll get to all of that eventually. I really just wanted to set the stage for what I hope will be a great form of therapy for me. I want to be able to vent all my anger and frustration without harming anyone. Yes, even the “four fakes” My wife (their daughter) actually feels the same as I do. Sometimes it bothers her more because they are HER family. The little stuff is easy for me to sluff off, but it really gets to her.

     Well I hope that this post has been a good base for the future. I’m looking forward to see if people will actually read this and respond. I was playing with some of the features of this site and I created a poll. Please vote.
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